|my bf looks slimmer. noooo, not a cam trick, he is slim now :D|
Lately, I'm in the mid of misery. I spent my time unwisely, sometimes I hate the situation around me, I hate noisy sounds behind. I just can't take a deep breath, can't be more tough since I know I had very heavy responsibility to my life, to my family. I spent my time unpleasantly. I used to smile and happy but sometimes failed miserably. Just failed that way. I taught myself, I'm happy, I should not listen all the noisy sounds behind, so on. But sometimes, I just can't. I need to speak up, and when I do, seems like no one understand. Oh that's okay. Yeah that's Okay. Then back again, I have to grateful every single time, I have to stand right on my own feet, no matter what. I have to hang on to Allah, I have to surrender myself to Allah and on my knees begging to Allah, human not.
Besides, I'm very thankful God sends me a person which was with him, I always succeed release my pain. We almost touch 6 years relationship. I'm no lying. Its not as smooth as you've seen btw, its just the same with common ppl. We ever hurt each other, broke up and so on. But the most important thing, we complete each other, that's worthy :)
And sometimes blogging also kinda self healing to me, I'm not intend to share my own private life. No! I just wanna share that life will never be perfect, as always. And we have to understand and grateful in every imperfection life that Allah gave to us. That's cool tho.. How if you own everything you want and no need to take a big effort to reach something that worth to you? Kinda boring, rite? Then, you'll never know what is desire, what is hard work, and you will never pray to Allah since you don't want anything else.
Oh-Well, I maybe wrong. May I underline? We will enjoy a very perfect life later, in Heaven :)
Actually, happiness is found anywhere. For me, its like a cup of green tea + choco chunk blizzard dairy queen, like a crunchy bite of chitato, like a simple 'are you okay, dear?', like a glass of yogurt drink, like a glass of thai tea coffee jelly dunkin donuts, like making an artwork, like typing thoughts, like enjoying Korean drama, barbie movie, etc, like sniffing lotsa perfume at mall, like collecting cute rings, like ....shopping ....and so on :D
Sooooo, let's find your own simple happiness from now ON! :D